About

by Kathleen C. Healy

An anthropologist and a publisher walk into an apartment . . .

Sounds like the opening of a bad joke, doesn't it? Actually, it's the beginning of a story - the beginning of this story. Ayla and I met through a series of odd events and a kijiji ad. The truly funny part of it was that we'd been linked for years through my brother, who was one of her best friends. Though we had heard of each other through Tris, we had yet to meet. When I found myself with a cat, in a non-pet-friendly sublet, and thought that I would have to move, I contacted someone whose ad was well-written, properly-punctuated, and was so pet-friendly she had two aptly nicknamed 'cuddle-monsters' pictured along with the apartment. Her response, which came almost immediately, did not answer any of my questions about the ad. Instead, she simply asked, "Are you Tristan's sister?!"

In the end, I was able to stay in my sublet for the summer, and Ayla found a different roommate for the time being. But we remained in touch and decided to move in together in September.

We found an adorable (basement) apartment and promptly named it 'Bagend.' And, over the course of the eleven months we lived together, we talked. We talked about Tolkien. We talked about Buffy. We talked about language and the misogyny that is ingrained in our culture. We talked about education and books. And, given that we were two very smart individuals with three degrees between us, we talked about the fact that society had changed - and the rules had changed with it.

How was it that someone with a great education (and the debt to prove it) could no longer find meaningful employment? How was it that we were stuck working menial, minimum-wage jobs in our mid-twenties? Weren't we suppose to be grown-ups now? When would that happen? Would we even know when it did?

Of all of the things we discussed over the course of our roommateship, this was the most common. (Aside from Joss Whedon, obviously.) It was lamented after nights of shitty tippers, and angry phone callers. It was spoken of over dinners of chips and rice noodles, through multiple bottles of wine and Dr. Pepper, during parties with similarly troubled friends, while we cleaned up Bagend, or created a Christmas tree out of books that ended up breaking our tiny, second-hand table.

What does it mean to be an adult in today's world?

We recognized pretty early on that we didn't have the answers. There are books out there that lay out the steps of being a grown-up for you. They are direct how-to's, if that's what you're looking for.

But, being a publisher and an anthropologist (as well as HUGE bookworms), Ayla and I were more interested in the stories. What were others' experiences of becoming a grown-up? WHat advice did they wish someone had given them? And, most importantly, how do we show people that they are not alone in being a little lost?

Early in 2013, the Being a Grown-Up book was born. Between the two of us, we had the skills and computer programs to create a physical book, we had the drive to see it through, and we had the belief that people would share their experiences with us.

The first big moment came when Margaret Atwood retweeted our call for submissions.

And then the emails started coming in. Stories about dealing with change, grief, love, uncertainty. Stories about that moment that you realize you're suddenly the adult in the situation. Stories about the how's and the why's and the unanswerable questions that we all wrestle with. STories about carving out new ideas and rules in a world where the old ones have stopped making sense.

People wrote from within Canada, and they wrote from around the world. Submissions came from New Zealand, Trinidad, Mexico, the States. Beautiful, unique stories that demonstrate that, while our experiences may be different, we are still connected.

These stories were written with various levels of skill and expertise, they each have distinct voices, and they have been changed as little as possible. Beyond conforming to Canadian English and grammatical standards, and clarifying any potential confusion for readers, we decided to let the authors - and the stories - speak for themselves.

Thank you for joining us, and the best of luck in your own adventure.

Enjoy!


*Reprinted from Being a Grown-Up: A User's Manual for the Real World